Difficult personalities: identifying them to improve relationships

Avoiding to put a label on things
We live in an age of speed and we have developed, as a society, a quick generalization behavior towards the events we live. A person has a difficult reaction or behavior once or twice and we already label them as a "difficult personality" when they are simply reacting differently to a situation or behavior.

It takes a few seconds to label a person, but it can take a lifetime to get rid of the label.

Being able to identify if you are in the presence of a conflict or a difficult personality will allow you to de-dramatize the situation by avoiding the label. You will also be able to take a step back and choose the appropriate strategies to manage the situation.
If you are in the presence of a difficult personality, it will be possible to analyze his or her behaviors and adapt your management and motivation methods accordingly in order to achieve solutions and bring about positive changes.

What I can name, I can manage!

Identify the differences between conflict and difficult personality

CONFLICTS

DIFFICULT PERSONALITY

Usually between 2 people
Each person blames the other for the problem
Behaviors only change in the presence of the other person
The person's reactions are unusual and often take you by surprise
Emotions, most often anger and frustration, are felt
You can talk to the person and get their point of view across; the person is receptive and shows a willingness to resolve the situation
Appropriate intervention resolves the conflict in a relatively short period of time

Generates conflict around her
Everyone is wrong all the time except her
Behaviours are consistent, regardless of surroundings or circumstances
Reactions are predictable; for example, if there is a change, you can predict this person's reactions
This person usually expresses his or her emotions through anger, crying, complaining, etc.
Verbal communication is difficult; two typical phrases said about difficult personalities are: "I can't communicate with her" and "No matter how much I talk to her, she doesn't understand".
This is a process that will have long-term effects

In the case of a conflict, it is often easier to come to a satisfactory resolution by practicing listening and focusing on the facts, rather than on our interpretations.

In the case of a difficult personality, depending on the type and intensity of the difficult behaviors, different strategies are used, but in all cases, there are actions to be taken:

- As in the case of conflicts, stick to the facts

- When meeting with a person with difficult behaviours, seek concrete commitments and follow up rigorously

- Take precise notes and record them. And above all, don't delay in taking action. The impact of a difficult personality on the team can be devastating.

In the "Difficult Personalities: From Confrontation to Engagement" training, we look at six personalities that can create a toxic environment at work. Whether in a traditional or remote work environment, it is important to recognize these personalities and know how to manage the relationship.