Although it's widely talked about in psychology, letting go sometimes remains unclear to many. A simple way to understand it is to contrast it with its opposite: control. While directing certain aspects of our lives is necessary, trying to control everything can become a source of stress and dissatisfaction. Accepting that not everything is under our control, and recognizing our limits, is the first step towards a state of calm and well-being.
Letting go and resilience: what are the differences?
These two notions, often confused, have very different meanings.
According to psychologists, letting go means freeing oneself from the obsession with control and welcoming uncertainty.
Resilience, on the other hand, refers to our ability to bounce back from hardship through concrete action.
In short, where resilience seeks to act, letting go invites us to release mental pressure.
Give up on your goals? Absolutely not!
Contrary to popular belief, letting go does not imply abandonment or indifference. Rather, it's a posture of acceptance: things don't always go as planned, and that's acceptable. This may sometimes require deconstructing rigid beliefs, such as the famous “you must” and “I must”. These often burdensome injunctions lead to behaviors that damage our balance, such as over-investing in a promotion or striving for perfection in every role in our lives. The key lies in awareness: identify the areas where it's hard to let go. Why not start by making a list?
When and why to let go?
There are certain signals that tell us it's time to adopt this approach:
- Physically: we feel persistent fatigue, struggle with a sense of exhaustion, and experience increasing symptoms of stress.
- Mentally: we face cognitive overload, dispersion and a feeling of oppression.
- Emotionally: resentment, hatred, helplessness, resentment... overwhelm us.
When these indicators disrupt our daily well-being, we need to take a step back to regain serenity and energy. What's more, practicing letting go will enable you to better manage your mental load, so you'll know when it's time to let go!
How to practice letting go?
While there's no magic method, letting go can be cultivated over time, with patience and practice. Is it difficult? Yes, it is, and it requires a great deal of self-compassion. Don't judge yourself: trying is already making progress. Letting go is a learning process, and every attempt helps to build this capacity.
Here are some tips for trying it out:
- Change your focus: concentrating on something simpler or less emotionally charged can make the process easier.
- Writing: allow yourself to write down all your thoughts related to the event or situation in a journal or talk about it with someone you trust to lighten the mental load.
- The present moment: Direct your attention to your breathing or to the elements of your environment that you can perceive with your 5 senses. This brings your attention back to the moment and reduces ruminative thoughts.
- Practice regularly: even if the effect is not immediate, repetition helps to anchor the habit and make the exercise more effective.
- Coaching: If letting go seems insurmountable on certain subjects, consulting a professional can help you identify and overcome blockages.
Remember that every little step counts, and that the path to letting go is a gift you give yourself, even if the result takes time to manifest.
An inspiring way to end the year
To help you on your way, why not keep an inspirational quote close at hand? Famous since 1939 thanks to Alcoholics Anonymous, Reinhold Niebuhr's quote remains a timeless invitation to reflection:
.../... Accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
the courage to change those that should be,
and the wisdom to distinguish one from the other.
At the dawn of the holiday season, choosing to let go is a precious gift to give yourself, so you can end the year gently and begin the next one with serenity.
To find out more :
Mental health: navigating complexity with resilience and letting go
